We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
