Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
