You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
