My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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