we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
