I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
