I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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