can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
