I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
