Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
