YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
