Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
