Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
