Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize