I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
