I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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