i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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