so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
