To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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