he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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