OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
