She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
