Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
