We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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