the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
