dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize