I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
