at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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