So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
