were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
