his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Houston, we have a squirter
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
