You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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