I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
