youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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