honey bunches of taint.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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