Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
