i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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