he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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