Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
