dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
