so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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