what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
operation harelip BJ is a go
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
