break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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