Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
