I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
