I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize