You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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