so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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