We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
