I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize