I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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