There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
