I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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