Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
