i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
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What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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