she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
