if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
