My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
