Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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