I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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