I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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