we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
