no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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