I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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