Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize