And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
