eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
