Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize