ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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