time to smoke my breakfast
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
